went over to my ah ma's house today. i was supposed to go with her to my aunt's place. but when i reached my ah ma's house. she told me that they were coming over instead. i already missed the first 30 mins of cell, so i just waited. we waited for hours and they only came after dinner. oh well, had a good game of mahjong thought. won 3 times. evidently, i have improved after my mother 'trained' me on the tactics of mahjong. hopefully shiqi they all can make it this mon to have a mahjong session at my house. its really comical to see my grandma get all flustered and frustrated when playing mahjong. she looks like some gangster head when she plays mahjong. haha... so cute.read one of my friend's blog and she seems really confused at this point in time. hmm... i was once this confused bout stuff... but i never really voiced it out. i guess for me, i got more and more confused until i'm confused bout what i really am confused about. then suddenly...BAm! confusion disappears. everything seems to be in perspective. i guess its sorta like a reverse effect. too much confusion until confusion just fades away. like using poison to counter poison. its actually human emotions that make us confused. so for now. after what i've been through. i try not to feel so much. to that friend if u're reading this. maybe u should try not to feel so much too. just be neutral to the world around you. feel only when necessary. then maybe life will be easier on you. its much easier for me now that i don't feel so much. of course i still have emotions la.. its just that i don't think so much or dwell on one emotion too long unless it concerns someone close. like celest leaving.fine. i'm back on that topic again. i guess i'm gonna type alot. i remember telling celest bout the dreams my ahkong had for me. he was so happy when he heard i wanted to be a doctor. he's oblivious to the competitive nature of the outside world so he was so sure that i could become one with the results that i've been reporting to him. i mean seriously thinking based so far on my result, its so much more than a hop skip and leap away from my goal. i remember crying on the phone while talking to celest bout this. i was feeling so stressed at that time. o levels. who doesn't feel stressed? but celest was there to say nice stuff to me. comfort me. and there was this time where i was quite fat. not that now i'm not. but fatter than now. i kept telling her how troubled i am bout this prob. she kept saying no la not fat la. then after that she'll add... why not we go exercise together? haha. at least she puts it in a nice way. the moment when i could actually wear the clothes i borrow from her. i was so happy. finally i've slimmed down. but now i'm putting back the weight i lost! the difference is...there's no celest to motivate me. oh well. enough said.i miss yvette! she's at some npcc camp. it must be so tough on her. she says that she can only get 4 hours of sleep at night. oh no. it'll be like so tough la. poor yvette...boohoo! she can't join us in any hol activities too. she has this camp until 13 and then after that mugging mugging mugging for mid years.i have really nothing much to talk bout. ill try to update that story thingy soon. haha. that's all. tata.
snll drifted away at 8:13 AM
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