today is a very sucky day. i got back most of my results. not today, yesterday. physics bio and chem. my results are suicidal. as in people may commit suicide because of it. not me though. i've God. but it still doesn't hurt to whine bout it and say SHOOT ME!!!actually. there isn't a need. because i'm already soooo dead. when my mom gets to know bout my results. i'm dead. no by that time even my spirit will be dead. a double whammy. double death.to add to my already dead life, there's piano exams. i hate the rigid way of playing piano. so firm and just so rigid. we have to follow fingering and stuff and play songs whose writers are already long dead (just so u know... in time to come i'll be deader than them). what's the point?! why have piano exams when we're supposed to learn piano to help us relax. it isn't making me relax, its making me nervous. why?! because of the cost of the exam. freaking $200 for one exam. and if one fails, its bye bye to those buckaroos. i'd rather let my own fingers roam wherever they want to on the piano. let them press whatever note. so irritating. its like seriously la. my academic results already so disgustingly lousy, who cares bout piano? piano isn't gonna get me a doctrate in medicine. its not gonna get me a firm job. maybe i should just break my fingers so i don't need to go for exams anymore. then my parents will know how desperate i am not to take piano exams. i'll miss my piano and my piano teacher cos she's nice(most of the time) but i'm seriously not in the mood for piano exams right now and my mother doesn't understand because she doesn't know my results yet and she doesn't need to learn piano when she was studying last time. she didn't even need to study last time because no one cared bout academic achievements.ok fine. there may be people out there who are good in sports, music, studies and at the same time have good looks. hmmm... like i know those people la! but i'm not one of them. add one more burden. just one more burden and i'll crack. i seriously will. i will run away from home and never come back. or i'll just do something drastic like go insane or something.ya right. as if i will. haiz. i'll just have to live with it lo. not enough $ to run away anyway. anyone out there with a secret pool of money for people who run away from their homes, please contact me. call me, visit me, kidnap me. whatever. argh!SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!!p.s the nice colours are not reflecting my mood right now.
snll drifted away at 3:46 AM
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