my sis is at a retreat. i'm using the laptop in my own room. all by myself when my parents are already sleeping. lovely feeling. i feel like i'm in my own world. in my own lala land. i feel like i can think of so many things. figure things out. and no one's here to disturb me. i feel relieved.i don't know how to say it but things are just different. i'm forgetting and being forgotten by people whom i used to think i would never ever forget. but seeing how their priorities are like, i know that i am being forgotten. oh well. i guess its just part and parcel of life to forget and be forgotten. just like the way we judge and are being judged. in many ways i think people see me differently. after the things that have happened. i don't really blame them. and i know people mean only the best intentions for me when they tell me stuff. but sometimes. i really would like to be alone and just make my own decision. which i haven't been doing much of lately. probably because i'm incapable of making one myself. i can see just something on their face that makes me feel that they are thinking something bout me. and what they're thinking definitely ain't good.oh well, doubting my capabilities isn't gonna help me either. i know who i am and what i am capable of. and even if i achieve results it wouldn't be to prove to anyone. it would just be for the glory of god. TO GOD BE THE GLORY. my dearest phs slogan. my head is bombarded with soooo many things to think about. if i get a penny for every thought, i'd be a billinaire by now. i have an answer to a question. but i'm not sure whether the answer is correct. so i told god:"if this is the correct answer, show me. if something doesn't happen tonight. then i'll know the answer is correct."and that thing didn't happen tonight. so i now know the answer. sadly, slowly, but surely, i'm giving it up and letting it go. alright. enough deep and sad stuff. its too tiring. apparently, my dearest princess eleanor thinks that my cute little guinea pig, MICKEY, is a dog!! and in the photo he was eating raw green spinach. do dogs eat raw green spinach?? oh my goodness. and to think she's taking bio. mickey really behaves like a dog though. whenever you call him, he'll come. which ísnt normal for a guinea pigs. guinea pigs are supposed to be more cowardly. but he's just so adventurous. he goes first in all his 'expeditions'into the house. although he knows he's not supposed to. he pulls rocky (my sis's guinea pig) along in all his adventures. he runs across the living room, attempts to climb the 2 pathetic stairs there and ends up hiding underneath the tv cabinet where he happily chews on the wires there. and all of us will get so uptight in trying to get him out so that he won't get electrocuted. he loves people to stroke him on his nose bridge and hates people who touchs his butt, or pull his hair. he literally screams!!! and he gets jealous easily too. his hair is always in a mess, prob just like his owner, and his hair grows very quickly too cos he's a long haired guinea pig. just like me! the longhaired part only though. hyok. *sigh. talking or thinking bout mickey makes me sooo happy. cos he's jusst sooo cute. i remember when my uncle albert first saw him. he asked me: "which end is the head, which end is the backside?"he couldn't tell cos mickey didn't have his haircut yet then. hyok. so his hair was allll over the place and i mean all over. i laughed real hard then. and mickey made alot of noise like he knew what was happening. that lovely little guinea pig. oh and he doesn't like people to call him a guinea PIG either. he probably feels its degrading. people who wanna see his pic. chat with me! haha. i have his pic on my msn. dear little mickey.
snll drifted away at 6:33 AM
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