its been a long time... i'm having a lil time to myself on this lonely monday night because mo is mia, i've got no meetings trainings what nots. and i've decided that i'll start my 'homework' a lil later. i'm feeling alright. but sometimes small things make big impacts. like *ahem: learnt from pc1322* meteorites 50m wide in diameter can dent the earth with craters that are 1200m in diameter and 200m deep. to illustrate how big the impact is, 1200m diameter area is about the size of the whole NUS town. and 200m is taller than the suntec towers. i learnt something new today :) and here's a photo of the barringer crater, the largest crater on earth in arizona USA. first and foremost, i would like to dedicate this short part of the blog post to my ex-phone: nokia 6280 you have served me well despite the countless times i've dropped you and literally broke you apart! you've never failed me. i'm kinda sad that i had to let it go so abruptly. like the excitement of it all just didn't give me enough time to reminiscence or feel all sentimental and teary eyed about letting it go until i left the shop and like OMGoodness, its gone. i'm a very sentimental person. i cried when we moved house, when we sold our tv, when my mom threw away my bolster and my pillow, and when my softtoys get discarded :( i really really feel sad. aw come on, i even feel bad when i just write half of my name, so you notice i always write my full name (if impossible, in initials) so that it'll be fair to 'sarah' and to 'lilin'. its a long story, ask me if you want. oh gosh. back to the memorial. yup, i kinda miss the sliding function cos it seems so slick and smooth, and black... black is nice. so byebye nokia 6280 :( i'll miss you. even if its for awhile.and in case you're guessing what my new phone is, its nokia e71 i kinda liked it cos it looked like a gg phone. heh.ok back to small things big impact. i don't know why and how people (including me) get so affected by these little things. the more people mean to you, the more their actions will hurt you. even if what they say will be so meaningless if its said by another. and yes, its true what they say: cruelty often masquerades as humour. "Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you"i sometimes wonder if its wise to let your defenses down when you're with someone whom you are close to because it is precisely the closest person to you that can hurt you the deepest. little things like going mia on you, using strong words when they don't mean it, talking about other chicks in front of you. ok i guess you all know where this is heading. i hate it when mo doesn't contact me and is not contactable because his stupid phone is spoilt. it puts this constant worry in me. partly of his safety. but mostly about what he's doing and who he's with. i can't help it ok. you'd prob think i have trust issues, but i honestly don't. i mean seriously think about it, its easier said than done. esp when the bf's won TWO freaking pageants, is a model, stays in a popular hall, and is surrounded by sporty skinny pretty tanned girls with short hair *excuse me, exactly his type if i might add* and he is handsome, and cute. and hey, i was charmed. why wouldn't other girls be? and me? i'm just the girl-next-door who lives in a boring hall, living day by day, not noticeable. of course i'd be worried. sigh. so irritating. its like i know i'm supposed to trust him, its not that i don't and yes the most suitable hypothesis is that I DON'T TRUST THOSE GIRLS. there i've said it. pretty little skinny poodles. HAHA. hazel will love this. she doesn't like the animal kinda poodles, and i don't like the girl kinda poodles. and don't mistake me, i'm not calling them a certain kinda swear word that may pop into your minds now. i just think its funny. hurrah for me who can still crack jokes when i'm feeling a lil sad. i guess..."its just emotions taking me over, caught up in sorrow, lost in the song...." because i'm wondering ..." who's the one you're clinging to, instead of me tonight." not literally but imaginarily. i have a vivid imagination that sometimes isn't really a blessing. oh well. i guess i'll just end here. my very honest post about how i feel right now. TONS of work to do. so toodles. this picture's title is "is a little sad" awww...I'd give you my heart on a string,
but to you, would it mean anything?
snll drifted away at 5:46 AM
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