to all my loyal readers, as melissa had announced herself to be, i shall be uploading manymany pics soon!! :):) so stay tuned and stay loyal alright?its been really busy since after exams. planning of church camp to church camp. then scooting off to taiwan the day after camp ends. and cutting the trip short by 3 days (supposed to be 8 days) because my grandfather passed away (dad's dad). i was sad and a tinge disappointed that we couldnt go to theme park and night markets for shopping and fun that i was looking forward to. but i know there are more important things than that and i believe that going around complaining about how disappointed about not being able to buy this and that shows how superficial and insensitive one might be. i shall not be that person. my father would not be in the condition to continue the trip knowing that this has happened even though he strongheadedly assured us that continuing the trip is what he wants. maybe the overly initiative-taking tour guide was a blessing in disguise after all. coming back straight away was the right decision.the wake lasted for 3 days, excluding the 4th day for the cremation ceremony. i wasn't close to my paternal grandfather, but was affected by the sombre ambience nonetheless. now and then, my aunties and uncles would go into that small yellow tent and cry their hearts out. i realised, they're pretty expressive people. my cousin and i concentrated on small talk so that we wouldn't ourselves be affected by the crying and start to cry ourselves. i appreciate all who came with well wishes :)on tues night when the buddhist ritual was going on, i felt sad. both ways. about how people can be so blind about their ways and more importantly, that my grandfather is dead. i may not be close to him, but he is still my grandfather. i mean for me, reading a touching book or watching someone die on tv would incur the overactivation of my tear glands. and realising that, i started to tear. so i walked away. but i couldn't hold it in on the last day, christmas eve, when my grandfather was cremated. i saw and felt the hurt in my grandmother as i hugged her and watched her sob. i saw and felt the sadness in my auntie as i offered her a hug too. on the last day, many emotions surfaced, some of which i felt shouldnt have been expressed, or at the very least, at a more appropriate time. however, i understand the emotional trauma and exhaustion everyone has been going through, so i shall keep my thoughts to myself about that matter. but i thank God that my grandfather has accepted Christ, and even though the majority of the family doesn't acknowledge that, the fact remains. so rest in peace ah kong bedok and may you be friends with Jesus, ah kong amk, isaac, mickey and rocky in heaven :)
snll drifted away at 9:06 AM
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