there comes a time in everyone's life when there comes an ultimatum. and actually, there may be more than 'a' time. there may be many times if your life is drama. a decision you have to make to improve your life, or think that you are improving your life when in actual fact, you are going quicker the other way.
i've learnt that i should not run before i get a direction. which i often do. i make my own decisions and hope like crazy that things will turn out well after that even though i know, by not honoring Him, i have diminished His powers in my life so what more can i hope for?
i have made certain decisions in the course of this new year. and i am keeping to it, no matter what. i am hardening my heart, be it good or bad. i have decided to amputate myself from people who are bringing me down, and concentrate my time on people worth the very thing it is. i will put in effort for people who actually want something good in their lives.
sarah bareilles' gravity says it all. i saw a dance to it on "so you think you can dance" about a girl and her addictions. she is drawn to the addiction's gravity, and the addiction knows her fragility, keeps her coming back. keeps her down. and addictions can come in many forms. i got rid of one, but many will keep coming and i know its an uphill task to try to resist. but i will try my hardest and i will grow up. in life and in God. i want to grow up.
no more bumming around. get a direction. and even after getting a direction, i must plan my route well. no more crashing and burning.
i will be a stronger me.
thanks sheri for the daily devotional(if you're even reading this) and people, if you're still someone i acknowledge, congratulations, you're impt enough to me to still want to keep knowing, which means, i love you in some way or another. (:
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
