i have never understood the word "spendthrift". spend is the opposite of thrift. so how can a spendthrift mean someone who spends money extravagantly. how can it even be a word? its like... deadlive. it means someone who is very very dead. or goodbad means something very very good.

so i've been thinking, many people have been saying that i'm a spendthrift. i admit, i do spend sometimes. though i know i'm not the worse of the lot, but to prevent myself from being a defensive mess, yes i do spend. i spend on clothes, bags, shoes, and all other stuff that i like. nice food. etc etc. you get the drift. BUT did it ever occur to you that (you being people who think i'm spendthrift) even though i part with my money easily on my whims and fancies, i also give far more willingly (and easily of course) to others' necessities. i would like to think that i'm a generous person. and i give willingly to any good cause, sometimes literally without batting an eyelid.

you may be someone who saves a lot of money. but on the flip side. are you a STOOGE? are you selfish? is money ALL you think about? is it your STRONGHOLD? you might say you are saving up for something important, then that's great. but what makes a whole lot difference is does that give you a right to judge others on their spending habits?

let me explain a concept. God gave me life, gave me everything. so He can judge my everything. My parents gave me a roof over my heads, made me who I am today, provided for me, so they can judge who I am. but what did you give to me to make you think that you have the right to judge my character when you don't even know the half of the story? trust me, you don't. you don't provide for me, nor give me money, so don't go around on your high horse, judging me on my spending habits. I NEVER placed you on a pedestal.

money is just something i use. its a currency, a tool of trade. i wouldn't collect it. wouldn't keep it. its just a means to survive. give me $100,000 for my grandfather's old broken seiko watch that he left me. i would say no. heck, give me a million dollars for it, i would still say no.

and now is probably the time you start thinking, well this girl must be born with a silver (or maybe golden) spoon in her mouth. well, contrary to popular belief. i'm not. i lived in a simple 2 room flat with my parents. until my dad worked hard and earned enough to get a condo. and 2 cars. and yes, at the point in time, i was at the upper middle end of a normal working family. but then came the recession, and as young as i was and as little savings as i had, it was all contributed to paying the bills. it was down to nothing again. we were in debt and i learnt a lesson of life.

the lesson i learnt, was not that we should scrimp and save and earn as much as we can for the FUTURE. because what life or future is there if we dont enjoy the life we're living and bless others? the lesson i learnt is that money is not as important as it is esteemed to be. let that mentality go. because if we were to live with that mentality, my family would have never gotten the help we needed to tide through those hard times. though many turned away, there were still relatives & family friends who blessed us without asking for anything in return.

i could go on and on about my thoughts on this. like i admitted earlier. yes i like nice things, and i have expensive taste on ice cream and what not. but money is just not something i hold dear to my heart. i don't mind letting it go.

there's a parallel to everything. there's the stooge and someone who is just conscientious. a stooge judges others. frowns upon the perils of "luxury". being conscientious is taking care of yourself and your family. then, there's the materialistic and someone who has more important things in life than money. I am trying to strike a balance to being more of the latter of both. but never ever will i accept the label of being a "spendthrift"

so there you have it. my thoughts during a shower.



snll drifted away at 8:26 AM ----------